The Spring Door

I really dislike Spring in upstate NY. I dislike the wild weather mood swings, one day sunny and warm, the next an unexpected snow storm and chilly wind. I dislike not knowing which coat to wear out the door without checking. One thing, I loved about Minnesota was the gradual warmup. It was the first time I ever enjoyed Spring and felt under it's spell. Each day there in Spring is a marvel of newness, getting a little warmer, greener, bursting a little more with bud.

We woke up Sunday to a Snowfall unannounced by weather forecasters. The cats and I went first to one door and then the other. They had a puzzled look on their faces. They wanted to know why we were only going to the Winter doors, when what they wanted were the Spring doors, the doors that led out into Spring less than 24 hours earlier. After 2 days of chill, I look forward to tomorrow, when the Spring doors will return and days will get warmer.

Spring

Geese honking all night long and now, Syracuse is in the Sweet 16. Yes, it is March in Upstate NY.

First Robin of Spring

The cats and I took our daily walkie to the river. Right in front of Max was a plump robin strutting in the yard. Max is still in his spring nervousness, so he missed it.
Down at the river, there is still ice on the banks and islands, with an occasional floe sliding by. 27 geese and a pair of teals were in the water. Max was stalking, trying to pretend that the male geese displays don't scare him to death. Not too much geese poop yet and little evidence of deer rutting.
There'll be days next month, when the sky is dark with the geese and the honks are deafening. After dark, the frogs will be mating, almost drowning out the geese. The groundhogs are running about in daylight now and bird songs fill the air.
It was 2 years ago, on a March day like this that I carried Max in his kittenhood down to the river. It was the end of February when he was rescued from the slammer of a cage in the Humane Society, who had rescued him in turn from an infancy of neglect and starvation. He shook all the way and when he sighted the river for the first time, he screamed. That seems to be the common cat reaction to the river, as Butchie and Sandi both screamed and shook when they first saw it and they were both full grown adults.

The sweetness of a small town

The Humane Society shelter up the street is in the running for a shelter makeover at zootoo.com. The officials flew into the North country for shelter visits here and at Watertown.
My street is full of shelter dogs in jackets, signs, buses of school children yanked out for the occasion.
There were signs everywhere, balloons and even a short motorcade.
It is amazing that a small shelter like the one here could compete with huge big city shelters and get so much support.

On being in limited company

For the newest of news. I went to see my oncologist to get hormone blockers. It is believed that breast cancer is caused by estrogen bits that latch onto cell and turn them cancerous (way simplified version). Hormone blockers either stop them from getting attached or stop your body from making estrogen in the first place.
My oncologist looks at my medical history and says "No way, I'm treating you. Your case is too rare and needs to go to a cancer center." Why is it always the women who send me off to cancer centers, instead of treating me?
So, I am either going to Burlington, VT. or Buffalo, NY for treatment. Either way, my visits are all paid for.

Spring in the North Country

Spring has finally come after an incredibly cold and harsh winter. Our snow has been gone for a while.
I drove to Minerva, NY today, in the heart of the Adirondacks. My stepdaughter, Julia will be moving to a group home there next week. It was truly winter in the mountains, but the bonechilling temperatures were gone. The mountains have a number of brown spots, but Whiteface kept to it's name.
We have had geese here for about one week and there is evidence of deer rutting in the back yard. I saw quite a number of does crossing the highways today, as well as some wild turkeys by the Thirsty Moose in Colton. The Moose crossing signs always get my guard up, but I've never seen one on a road.
Max has left me several dead mice as offerings and sleeps like the dead when he finally comes in. I took the cats out for our traditional "walkie" down to the river in the back yard and found that beavers had eaten a stand of trees, pretty good sized ones.
I can't wait for the faux beach next door to open. I can finally get some outdoor exercise. Everytime I try to walk in the neighborhood or to the village center, people pick me up and insist I ride with them. The news spread like wildfire about me being sick, so no one wants to see me walking.
I'm going to Minerva next Friday again, so will try to bring the camera and get some good shots. Hopefully a lot of the snow will be gone.

Radiation

Well, it's set for me to have my body scan on 4/2/09. That is when a machine scans your body pre-radiation to make sure that you getting the right spots hit.
It's a marriage of a treatment. Once started, a regimen needs to adhered to. 5 days a week, 15 minutes a day. 28 days of intensive treatment, then 5 of generalized.
I am so glad to have it done before the hot weather hits, as the skin treated has to protected from the sun and the elements.
The side effects are a sunburn like rash and tiredness.
Apparently, by having this done, it has the preventative value of a mastectomy, while allowing me to keep my body intact. Also, dealing with any little time bombs that I have nesting under my skin right now.
My only complaint in general is that I am not completely back. I am still getting fatigued easily.
I am ready to be healthy again. So ready.

Radiation

As of today, I am pronounced cancer-free. The surgery was revised, proper margins were excised and the scars turned inward and glued.
Thursday, I meet with a radiology consultant. I feel that I have so many pro-con feelings on radiology.

More

The only thing that worries me now is that the initial fatigue that I began feeling in late Nov./early Dec. has not gone away.

The last month I have gone crazy attributing things to cancer; I have a slight ache, cancer; a cough, cancer; tiredness, cancer.

History

• Patients typically present with a firm, mobile, well-circumscribed, nontender breast mass.
• A small mass may rapidly increase in size in the few weeks before the patient seeks medical attention.
• Tumors rarely involve the nipple-areola complex or ulcerate to the skin.
• Patients with metastases may present with such symptoms as dyspnea, fatigue, and bone pain.

Physical

• A firm, mobile, well-circumscribed, nontender breast mass is appreciated.
• Curiously, cystosarcoma phyllodes tends to involve the left breast more commonly than the right one.
• Overlying skin may display a shiny appearance and be translucent enough to reveal underlying breast veins.
• Physical findings (ie, the occurrence of mobile masses with distinct borders) are similar to those of fibroadenoma.⁵
• Phyllodes tumors generally manifest as larger masses and display rapid growth.
• Mammographic findings (ie, the appearance of round densities with smooth borders) are also similar to those of fibroadenoma.
• Recurrent malignant tumors seem to be more aggressive than the original tumor.
• The lungs are the most common metastatic site, followed by the skeleton, heart, and liver.
• Symptoms from metastatic involvement usually arise in a few months but may occur as late as 12 years after the initial therapy.
• Most patients with metastases die within 3 years of the initial treatment.⁴
• No cures exist for systemic metastases.
• Roughly 30% of patients with malignant phyllodes tumors die from the disease.

Causes

The etiology of cystosarcoma phyllodes is unknown.

Recurrent tumors

• Recurrent malignant tumors seem to be more aggressive than the original tumor.
• The lungs are the most common metastatic site, followed by the skeleton, heart, and liver.
• Symptoms from metastatic involvement can arise from as early as a few months to as late as 12 years after the initial therapy.
• Most patients with metastases die within 3 years of the initial treatment.
• No cures for systemic metastases exist.
• Roughly 30% of patients with malignant phyllodes tumors die from the disease.

cancer flameout

I get very depressed when I think of how aggressive phyllodes can be. Each time it comes back the chances are greater that it will be malignant and go straight into my lung.
Will write more about that later.